Silence is golden but duck tape is silver.
Anonymous
I told the Inland Revenue I didn’t owe them a penny because I lived near the seaside.
Ken Dodd
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
J.B. Morton
It a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it.
W. Sommerset Morgan
Nothing can confound a wise man more than laughter from a dunce.
Lord Byron
If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.
Mark Twain
College is a refuge from hasty judgment.
Robert Frost
It's funny how most activists are pacifists.
Craig Bruce
When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.
Steven Wright
You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.
Homer Simpson
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
Groucho Marx
Shall I not have intelligence with the earth? Am I not partly leaves and vegetable mould myself.
Henry David Thoreau
You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly! Ha, ha!
Eddie Murphy, Shrek
The great question.... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?
Sigmund Freud
I found a great way to attract money... work!
Curtis D. Tucker
Where there are no swamps there are no frogs.
German Proverb
Confidence is the feeling you sometimes have before you fully understand the situation.
Unknown
To err is human; to admit it, superhuman.
Doug Larson
I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting to get into the bathroom.
Bob Hope
Beware of the young doctor and the old barber.
Benjamin Franklin
I don't want to quit drinking because, as they say, winners never quit and quitters never win.
Unknown
Life is so unlike theory.
Unknown
All women are good - good for nothing, or good for something.
Miguel De Cervantes
As he was valiant, I honor him. But as he was ambitious, I slew him.
William Shakespeare
Life is a terminal desiese for which there is no vaccination.
Anonymous
Love thy neighbor. But don't get caught.
Unknown
Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad. Woody Allen
Anonymous
I told the Inland Revenue I didn’t owe them a penny because I lived near the seaside.
Ken Dodd
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
J.B. Morton
It a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it.
W. Sommerset Morgan
Nothing can confound a wise man more than laughter from a dunce.
Lord Byron
If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.
Mark Twain
College is a refuge from hasty judgment.
Robert Frost
It's funny how most activists are pacifists.
Craig Bruce
When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.
Steven Wright
You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.
Homer Simpson
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
Groucho Marx
Shall I not have intelligence with the earth? Am I not partly leaves and vegetable mould myself.
Henry David Thoreau
You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly! Ha, ha!
Eddie Murphy, Shrek
The great question.... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?
Sigmund Freud
I found a great way to attract money... work!
Curtis D. Tucker
Where there are no swamps there are no frogs.
German Proverb
Confidence is the feeling you sometimes have before you fully understand the situation.
Unknown
To err is human; to admit it, superhuman.
Doug Larson
I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting to get into the bathroom.
Bob Hope
Beware of the young doctor and the old barber.
Benjamin Franklin
I don't want to quit drinking because, as they say, winners never quit and quitters never win.
Unknown
Life is so unlike theory.
Unknown
All women are good - good for nothing, or good for something.
Miguel De Cervantes
As he was valiant, I honor him. But as he was ambitious, I slew him.
William Shakespeare
Life is a terminal desiese for which there is no vaccination.
Anonymous
Love thy neighbor. But don't get caught.
Unknown
Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad. Woody Allen
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